Screwed.edu
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
