tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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