The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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