he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
