I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
