You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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