dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
