I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
