Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
