They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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