Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We have so much sex to catch up on
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
