this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
