she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
