with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
