no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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