I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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