that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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