I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Two words: nipple clamps
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