He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
