i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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