you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
