After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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