Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
