I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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