Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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