"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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