Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need to sanitize my soul.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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