I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
