i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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