do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Mom said you looked used
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
