we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We just shotgunned beers for America
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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