You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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