i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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