There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
