doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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