I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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