when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
