I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have post one night stand depression
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
