im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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