He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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