Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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