yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
