Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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