I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
