I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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