I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
