Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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