More tranny stories later!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have fence marks all over my body
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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