OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
