apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
