Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
