Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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