My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize